Ask anyone whether they have fears, you will get a list of them. These fears are real and affect our lives profoundly.
We are a group of six good friends. We all have known one another for a long time and have seen many good & bad seasons together. We meet once in a while for a lunch date.
On one such date with these friends my friend just said it in passing, “Is it not ridiculous that just because I am above 65 years, I am expected to be mature & fearless? I am frightened so many a times. Fear grips me many times these days when I wake up to a sudden nightmare. I fear so many things. What if I fall seriously ill, if I get bed ridden, if I have to live a life of dependency, if dementia or Alzheimer grapples me, if my partner dies and I am left alone, if my children and my friends abandon me, if I have to stay my final years among unknown & old people in a facility, if I get depressed etc.” In our typical way of being helpful we dismissed it as trivial and got her think about something more positive & happier.
However, her statement on being fearful stuck with me. Later on, at home I started working on what do I fear? Even I had a unique list of my own-fear of addiction to medicines, people, comfort, routine, personal ritual etc.
One thing I realized, fear dwells in the future.
The unknown and uncertainty magnifies the fear for all of us. It is okay to have fear, acknowledge the fear. Acknowledgement leads to acceptance which in turn leads to finding ways to deal with the fear. Let the “fear of fear” not cripple you in living a whole, fulfilling life in the present.
